hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
