so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
