You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to stick my p in your. b.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
