But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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