was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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