ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
