I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
