I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
