My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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