Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
