Pants 0. Shit 1.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
