Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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