My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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