I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
