We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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