My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
