how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize