she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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