Her vagina should come with caution tape.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
