i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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