I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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