The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
