I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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