Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
