this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
