I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
