i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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