He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
