I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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