found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
