Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
