Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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