shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
