I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
