I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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