Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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