You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
