Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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