Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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