She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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