Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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