Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
