are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
