I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
