Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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