I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
