Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize