i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
