you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
