mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
