sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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