Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
