is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
