she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize