i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hippo gnu deer
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
