Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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