I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
