I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
