her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize