Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
