JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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