I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
