i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
